My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
