I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
