don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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