i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
