Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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