Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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