playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
