Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize