Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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