I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
where am i from again
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
