My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
