if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
