they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
