talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Randomize
