dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
