Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize