Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Drake has all the answers
I'm sobbing to NWA
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
