I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
