just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
this boner is exhausting
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
