Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize