you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
