Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Bring me that man meat
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
