I think im going to throw up on grandma
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
