I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
So much Jack, so little girl.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
