# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
