i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
