So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
