I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
