i just had sex bonerless
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
