Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
then he tried to convert me to islam
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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