This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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