The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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