You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
