It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
We're too hungover to prance.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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