Having a random hookup so left but love u
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
