they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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