She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
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