Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
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