you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
