Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
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