I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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