I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
