Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
