Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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