You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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