the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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