I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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