nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
No subtext here. People are naked.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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