he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize