are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
