It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
