he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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