It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
