you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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