it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
