alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Randomize
