Don't make out with my wife yet
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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