that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Randomize
