a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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