Where is the hickey?
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
